The Importance Empathy Plays In Professional Selling

"If you would win a man to your cause, firston attainable, constructive steps to achieve "I
convince him you are his sincere friend." Abrahamshould be" in the future.
LincolnOur behaviour is a reflection of our attitudes; and
Nowhere is this truer than in selling, where youour attitudes grow out of our values.
are trying to persuade another, often a stranger,Each is an integral part of the other. Do your life
to make a decision they may not even havevalues make it easy for you to put the other
considered prior to your meeting.person's interests first?
The buyer-seller situation - like any human contactSincerity is a much-used word in relation to selling.
- is an exercise in human relations: the interplay,Integrity is a kindred word. Integrity implies a
cause and effect of behaviour by two or moreconsistent kind of honesty: acting outwardly the
people on each other. In the buyer-seller situation,way you truly feel inwardly. That's why sound
the seller must be responsible for shaping mutualvalues are so important to your success with
behaviour.others. Remember: "People buy our product not
What's the difference between human nature andso much because they understand the product...
human relations?o Human nature is the instinctivebut because they feel that we understand them."
behaviour that governs action concerned with theThere are many effective ways of doing this:
self and with self-interest.o Human relations areThe best way to create this kind of buying
concerned with how we think and act in terms ofclimate is to "transmit on their frequency." This
other's interests.opens their mind to you...makes them willing - and
Successful selling demands that human relationseager - to listen.
be dominant over human nature.A sincere, specific compliment on a point of real
Selling is not something a salesperson does to ameaning to them gets the other person talking
prospect. Selling is something you do with theabout things of interest to them. It opens doors.
prospect in a process of discovery and interaction"Before I sell my prospect what my prospect
- human relations at work.buys, I must first see my prospect as they see
The greatest barrier to success in this process isthemselves."
the "Egocentric Predicament". This consists ofIn Summary:
being overly and unnecessarily concerned withEmpathy is the magical word in human to human
self. Our ability to be perceptive and concernedinteraction. It means feeling as the other person
about others is inversely proportionate to ourfeels, not just with them. It means putting
self-concern.yourself in their shoes and shaping your attitudes
When self gets unnecessarily in the way, theaccordingly.
fruitful cycle of good human relations stopsBeyond getting the order, the plus factor in selling
producing.is to make people look good in their own eyes
The key to understanding and accepting others, isand in the eyes of others. Rather than sell to
to first understand and accept oneself - startingthem, we help them buy.
with the realisation that, rather than strive for anWe do this best by building their self-image. This
unattainable "I should be" image, we should settlehelps them grow. And as we help others grow,
for our real self as "I am" - acceptingwe grow. To do this, we must be open and
shortcomings along with strengths.honest - this is the essence of good human
The following points provide a practical answer torelations.
the "I am" versus "I should be" conflict.These concepts are applicable to every facet of
Recognise it - and recognise that its source isour lives and in selling, they pave the way to the
rooted in the views of others.truest and most fruitful success.
Either (a) accept your "I am" image or (b) decideCopyright © 2006 Jonathan Farrington.