| Selling yourself in business is a lot like selling | | | | For years, my clients have been telling me that |
| yourself in dating. In both instances you want a | | | | my selling system has made a big difference in |
| way to say the right thing, at the right time
all | | | | their personal lives as well. This is gratifying, but |
| the time. No one really taught us the "right thing" | | | | not surprising. |
| to say... until now. I urge my clients to be | | | | Effective communication is effective |
| authentic, be a good listener, ask powerful | | | | communication, no matter what it’s |
| open-ended questions, be truly interested, and find | | | | designed for. |
| out what’s important to the other person. | | | | When I developed my communications system I |
| This also sounds like a pretty good system for | | | | had a goal. |
| effective dating. | | | | Over the years my clients have been telling me |
| After all, if you dominate the dating conversation, | | | | that they wanted to learn a way to say the right |
| talk only about yourself, or focus on why | | | | thing, at the right time
all the time. Being able |
| it’s a good idea for the other person to | | | | to do that would seem to be a sure way to |
| respond to your offer, your results will be, | | | | attract more clients, more referrals, more sales, |
| at best, hit and miss. | | | | and more dates. |
| Jenny, my wife of 33 years, tells me that she | | | | So, my system is designed to produce those |
| would hate to be in the dating pool again. | | | | results 100% of the time
and it |
| She's a great communicator, but would be less | | | | doesn’t. |
| than overjoyed at the possibility of facing | | | | Let me explain why that's okay. |
| rejection. Plus... she fears that saying the wrong | | | | My favorite metaphors relate to the world of |
| thing might maker her come off looking stupid. | | | | sports. In most competitive sports the |
| (This, for her, is impossible.) | | | | participants follow a game plan that focuses on |
| Many in the dating pool share these concerns. | | | | winning 100% of the time. |
| Selling is a lot like dating. Each is dramatically | | | | For instance, each play in a football playbook is |
| important to our survival. One brings us the | | | | based on a system designed to score a |
| opportunity for approval and love; the other | | | | touchdown every time. We know that |
| brings us the opportunity for approval and money. | | | | doesn’t happen, but that’s the |
| The fear, and it is fear, that we won’t | | | | focus. The team has a system and they follow it. |
| cut the mustard, or live up to the | | | | Here’s the tip — Adopt a focus and |
| expectations of the prospect, is an emotion that's | | | | a communications system for your business that |
| present in both activities. | | | | you’re comfortable with
and follow it. |
| What are we afraid of?We’re afraid that | | | | What should you look for in a communications |
| despite our best efforts, our prospect will | | | | system?You want a system that’s |
| reject us or our offer. Even worse, they might | | | | designed to help you make more quality contacts |
| tell us, Don’t call me. I’ll call | | | | and then turn those contacts in to contracts, or |
| you. | | | | clients, 100% of the time, and we know |
| Jenny tells me that from their early teens women | | | | that’s doesn't happen. |
| are taught a system for dating. | | | | In light of that reality
you want a system that |
| They have been trained to listen to a guy | | | | will help you quickly uncover a no that's |
| in order to catch him. If you don’t | | | | going to happen anyway. You want a system |
| believe me, check some old issues of Seventeen | | | | that will allow you to watch an increase in the |
| or Teen. It’s a time-honored tradition, | | | | number of prospects who say yes. |
| rightly or wrongly. | | | | You want a system that will help you produce |
| Most salespeople and most daters attempt to | | | | results more easily and more often, and at the |
| close the deal without using a well defined | | | | same time, help you experience a decrease in |
| communications system. | | | | sales related stress. |
| Being authentic and speaking from the heart in | | | | How you market and sell yourself determines |
| your dating or sales communications | | | | how effectively you market and sell your product |
| doesn’t mean that it’s in your best | | | | or expertise. It’s all about the effective |
| interest to wing it. | | | | and authentic use of language. |
| Whether it's for selling or dating, I suggest that | | | | No one taught us how to say the right |
| you use a system to help you build up your skill | | | | thing or ask the right questions in sales, or in |
| muscle for authentic and effective communication. | | | | dating. |