| Over the past three decades, in the sales and | | | | But in 2006, a runaway bestseller, THE SECRET, |
| self-help literature, there has been a relentless | | | | informed people that riches awaited them if they |
| response to a book you probably never | | | | merely INTENDED them to manifest in their lives. |
| encountered: Robert Ringer's 1980's tome, | | | | Ease and comfort, indirectness, and relative |
| LOOKING OUT FOR #1. | | | | inactivity through leverage, i.e. "No Money Down," |
| Like Ayn Rand's volumes, Ringer's is a celebration | | | | created a downy path to splendor. |
| of selfishness and a glorification of ego. It | | | | Something called RELATIONSHIP SELLING was |
| operates from Adam Smith's seminal rationale for | | | | coined. Reduced to essentials, this says, "Be your |
| the efficiency of free-market capitalism, an | | | | prospect's friend, first, and then they'll buy from |
| economic system in which all people are said to | | | | you." |
| benefit when each individual is guided to by his | | | | I'm here to tell you this notion is silly fluff. We can |
| own enlightened self-interest. | | | | never be friends with customers, nor should we |
| Ringer's work rang true during what was a deep | | | | strive to be. Fundamentally, we're adversaries; not |
| recession, indeed amidst a hybrid of maladies | | | | pals or buddies. |
| labeled, "stag-flation." Higher prices came to the | | | | They want to pay the lowest price and we want |
| fore without incomes to match, or overall | | | | to sell at the highest. They want to get |
| economic growth. | | | | everything and we want to give nothing. |
| Readers were receptive to an appeal to | | | | Of course, this cannot happen, at least for long. |
| bootstrapping, counting on themselves, and | | | | Value will be tendered for value, or the world of |
| avoiding wishful thinking. | | | | commerce would collapse. |
| But by the middle 80's, affluence returned and | | | | But there is always tension when real buyers and |
| grew, with another economic hiccup occurring in | | | | real sellers interact. The cut and thrust of business |
| the early 90's, and yet another pause in growth | | | | isn't like the laid back feeling of being at a friend's |
| happening during the dot-com boom and bust of | | | | barbecue or birthday party. |
| the early 2000's. | | | | As sellers, if we put relationship building first, we'll |
| But by that point, the self-help and how-to book | | | | dull our blades, losing our edges. We'll be putting a |
| rhetoric had changed, radically. | | | | secondary gain, affability or congeniality, ahead of |
| "Tough-guy talk" had all but disappeared from the | | | | the primary gain, profitability. |
| bookshelves. Ringer was a relic. | | | | Selling requires toughness, and fundamentally, no |
| Instead, we found "kinder and gentler" themes | | | | one will succeed in this field if he cannot say" "I |
| pervading even the most macho of domains, | | | | know what's good for you, and I will persist until |
| especially selling. | | | | you agree with me." |
| Authors excitedly told readers that "asking" your | | | | It sounds parental and authoritarian, doesn't it? |
| way to an order was more effective than "telling." | | | | It's necessary, and it works. |
| More than one book touted "Permission | | | | "Relationship Selling" is oxymoronic. Where you |
| Marketing," the idea that prospects should be able | | | | have one, you'll have to deny yourself the other. |
| to opt-out in advance from being contacted and | | | | Now tell me. You have bills to pay, and a life to |
| sold. | | | | support, and perhaps a family. |
| (If this idea had been advanced in a sales meeting | | | | Which will you choose to wear: The party hat or |
| prior to 1980, its advocate would have been | | | | the hard hat? |
| laughed out of the room!) | | | | |