| What Exactly Is Rapport? | | | | very long before seeking to discover similarities |
| Rapport is the most important process in | | | | about themselves. This biographic matching can be |
| influencing others. It is vital if you want to | | | | social or economic, achieved through outlook, |
| maintain relationships. Without it, you are unlikely | | | | education or background - common experiences |
| to achieve willing agreement to what you want. | | | | of the world. |
| People who have excellent rapport with others | | | | When you match, you reduce resistance by |
| create harmonious relationships based on trust | | | | playing down differences while building on |
| and understanding of mutual needs. | | | | similarities. |
| Rapport is the cornerstone of all mutually | | | | Pacing |
| effective relationships. It needs constant vigilance | | | | Once you are matching one another, you can |
| to keep it alive and effective. | | | | continue to maintain the rhythm you have |
| Why Is It So Important? | | | | created by agreeing with one another, seeing |
| Rapport is similar to money - when you are short | | | | from the same point of view. Pacing is a |
| of it, it increases in importance. Without rapport | | | | conscious continuation of matching. |
| you will reduce your chances of getting:o | | | | When talking, you can pace:o Words that are |
| Unconditional agreement to your ideas and | | | | usedo Tone of voiceo Language patternso |
| suggestionso Full commitment from otherso | | | | Volumeo Body language used |
| Business, promotion, fiends | | | | Don't overdo it - you may be accused of mimicry. |
| The way in which you interact with others has a | | | | Be elegant - your skills should remain unnoticed. |
| major bearing on your success as an influencer. | | | | Leading |
| Being in rapport means that you are in agreement | | | | One of the goals of matching and pacing others is |
| with others both verbally and non-verbally. | | | | to be able effortlessly to lead them in another |
| Ten Good Reasons To Build Rapporto To really | | | | direction. Once you are deeply in sync. With the |
| win friends and influence peopleo To connect | | | | other people, a change of pace from you will |
| rapidly with a wide range of peopleo To | | | | usually result in a similar change in others. |
| communicate magicallyo To build solid, lasting | | | | Matching and pacing help you share someone |
| relationshipso To create incredible resultso To help | | | | else's experience and you will begin to know |
| others improve performance and increase | | | | intuitively when it is appropriate to make |
| successo To handle conflicto To get promotiono | | | | suggestions, to influence, to lead. |
| To talk your way in to thingso To talk your way | | | | Mismatching |
| out of things | | | | You can also influence behaviour in others by |
| A Recipe For Successful Influence | | | | mismatching. It is useful to mismatch when:o You |
| Ingredients | | | | want a meeting to come to an end - clear up |
| Trust | | | | papers, put a pen awayo You want to conclude a |
| Openness | | | | telephone conversation - minimise responses and |
| Comfort | | | | noises offo You need time to think before acting |
| Acceptance | | | | - use the bathroom, make a telephone call, add up |
| Empathy | | | | figures on your calculatoro What you are doing |
| Flexibility | | | | isn't working - go for a walk, listen to some |
| Something in common | | | | music, make a phone callo Matching is affecting |
| Shared understanding | | | | your mood negatively - break off the |
| Method | | | | conversation, change the subject |
| Mix together as required. Notice changes and be | | | | Networking |
| prepared to maintain a flexible approach | | | | Have you noticed how some people seem to be |
| throughout. Keep communication flowing on all | | | | universally likes, trusted and respected? Chances |
| levels. | | | | are that they're also good at networking - |
| Self-Disclosure | | | | developing a wide network of friends, colleagues, |
| Telling others how you feel and what you think | | | | allies and useful contacts. |
| and believe, as well as telling them about your | | | | Networking offers you a structured way of |
| background, is a kind currency. Give out | | | | making certain that your ideas are effectively |
| information and usually you will receive a lot back | | | | exchanged with others. |
| in return. | | | | And Finally: Networking In Action |
| People swarm, flock and group together by type, | | | | How can you get to know your team, other |
| background, interests, beliefs, gender, work and | | | | managers and clients better? Are there |
| so on. And one of the most efficient ways to get | | | | management associations you could join, luncheon |
| close to one another is through self-disclosure. | | | | clubs, your local Chamber of Commerce? |
| As we begin to experience a powerful common | | | | Organise team events outside working hours. Be |
| bond, so too does rapport begin. Mutual interests, | | | | seen at functions, offer to assist whenever you |
| ideas, values and beliefs are the wrap and weft | | | | can. |
| of social interaction. | | | | Make yourself known - don't stand on the edge |
| Most people like people who are like themselves! | | | | looking in. Be part of the action. |
| Biographic Matching | | | | Copyright © 2006 Jonathan Farrington. |
| It is rare for two human beings to be together | | | | |