| In dealing difficult people and managing conflict | | | | happy and what you can do is ensure that what |
| effectively, you need to understand and apply | | | | you have suggested, recommended, solved or |
| your negotiation skills with tact to deal with every | | | | anticipated is reasonable and/or acceptable to |
| relationship and it could be your boss, colleagues, | | | | everyone. |
| business contacts, friends or even spouse or | | | | When dealing with those of bullying, intimidating, |
| acquaintances. The ways to dealing difficult people | | | | provocative and those resort to threats. |
| or managing conflict is also to first look at your | | | | Be assertive right from the start when dealing |
| own expectations and agendas and then, skillfully | | | | with this group of people. Confront and tell him if |
| apply your negotiation skills fairly. | | | | he is behaving in a way that is not acceptable to |
| Difficult people can be of many personality types | | | | you and name that behavior. Leave no doubt |
| that you may encounter and that can be those | | | | what is acceptable and what is not and as to |
| of intimidating and provocative type to those | | | | where you would draw the line. |
| resort to threats to get what they want. | | | | Create negative consequences that far outstrip |
| There are those who always sidestep an issue, | | | | the benefits that they think they will get from |
| procrastinate and avoid talking the topic. While on | | | | their bullying behaviors. After having the upper |
| the contrary; there is the "touch-me-nots" type | | | | hand in this situation, always offer alternatives |
| whom shows physical fear when confronted. | | | | deals so that he does not loose his pride and |
| Another type is the "take-it-or-leave-it" or | | | | offer solution like "why don't we work together |
| "all-or-nothing" attitude. | | | | on this...." This way it causes him to be more |
| The answer to dealing difficult people is not to try | | | | conscious of his behavior that has an effect on |
| to eliminate it or sweep its problem under the | | | | others. |
| carpet as sooner or later; there will be something | | | | Dealing with those who tend to procrastinate, |
| else that triggers it to surface again. The secret is | | | | postpone decisions, change the subject or avoid |
| to how to deal with different kinds of people you | | | | the topic and the "touch-me-nots" type. |
| interact with daily and have the upper hand in | | | | Show him the consequences of his decision. |
| reaching well-negotiated settlements that are in | | | | Present it as a non-threatening factual report and |
| the interest of all concerned. | | | | you are merely stating obvious consequences |
| Managing conflict | | | | that he cannot take it lightly. |
| Conflict is the result of two different points of | | | | Offer these people reassurance, help to build their |
| view and it can be used as a tool for both parties | | | | self esteem and make them realize that they |
| to grow. It is also neutral and what makes it | | | | have something to contribute. |
| positive or negative is how conflict or the | | | | When dealing with "take-it-or-leave-it" or |
| differences is managed. | | | | "all-or-nothing" attitude. |
| You cannot change or manage another person | | | | Silence is the most effective weapons in dealing |
| behavior but knowing which approach works best | | | | with people with attitude problem. Remember, in |
| with which personality is your key to better | | | | this situation say absolutely nothing and who ever |
| negotiation experiences. | | | | open its mouth first, looses. With no ammunition |
| Conflict can be summarized into just two: personal | | | | to keep the confrontation going, he will start to |
| and / or organizational issues and everyone is | | | | backtrack and becoming more reasonable. |
| right in his own mind and entitled to his opinion. It | | | | Another tactic is to cut the exchanges with these |
| gives the opportunity to grow, learn, modify or | | | | people short by saying: I'll talk with you further on |
| adjust a person beliefs or behavior. | | | | this when you are more reasonable and change |
| What to say and what not to say is also | | | | the subject. Pretend not to hear the demand and |
| important in managing conflict. For example; | | | | only when the attack stops; bring the real |
| "What" warrant factual responses and "Why" are | | | | problem back and treat the attack that has never |
| judgmental. Compare the followings; | | | | happens. |
| - Why did you do that? (Confrontational) | | | | When people makes unreasonable demands, do |
| - What was the motivation for doing that? | | | | not object outright and instead, allow him to |
| (Information seeking) | | | | justify his position or vent his feelings. Turn that |
| Negotiation skills | | | | into a problem-solving activity that will make the |
| Never be pressured into unacceptable | | | | other feel that he has contributed positively |
| agreements. Insist on fair, reasonable agreement | | | | Learn in dealing difficult people and managing |
| terms that are beneficial to all and continue to | | | | conflict with your negotiation skills as teaching |
| negotiate only if fair procedures can be agreed | | | | about you and your tendencies. It takes two |
| upon. | | | | people or more to trigger the above. |
| You cannot always make everyone 100 per cent | | | | |