| Intimidation is why most people avoid pursuing | | | | rationalizations why meeting this CEO is not a |
| other people they want to meet. In the quest for | | | | good idea, and you pursue other diversionary |
| sales this would mean C-levels and top decision | | | | actions. Your spirit is arming you with survival |
| makers. Sure there are those that storm the | | | | ideas and maneuvers. |
| C-Suite only to be thrown back like undersized | | | | Now to change this intimidation or self-doubt, we |
| fish. These rouges are not intimidated, but they're | | | | must catch it, "I'm not feeling good about this |
| not too smart either. Senior executives are a well | | | | meeting." Then check it, "How come?" Recognize |
| protected and scary bunch. To win them over, | | | | this feeling as the negative talk you heard from |
| one must have a confident resolve and a | | | | your parents during your upbringing. It has |
| strategy to sail into their waters. Intimidation is an | | | | become the burnt-in program our inner parent is |
| anchor. | | | | using to direct us. As an adult, you know there is |
| Intimidation stems from the self doubt one feels | | | | no reason for fear. The CEO may be busy or |
| about his or her ability or worthiness to interact | | | | hard to see, but this is nothing to fear. You can |
| with someone powerful. For example; you're | | | | handle these realities. Finally, you appeal to your |
| intimidated by the bully because you doubt your | | | | spirit, "Help me overcome this unjustified |
| ability to protect yourself or defeat him. Now if | | | | intimidation." Use you spirit to positively visualize, |
| someone is big or has a weapon, then you have | | | | "This CEO really wants to see me. How can I fit |
| good reason to be intimidated. However, the | | | | into his schedule?" Then wait and listen. Your spirit |
| intimidation felt when thinking of networking to a | | | | (or whatever you want to call it) will send |
| high level decision maker is a conditioned response | | | | answers and ideas. But I repeat. You have to wait |
| you learned early in life. | | | | and listen. Your spirit is an idea generator. If you |
| Self-doubt is negative baggage packed for us in | | | | let it work it will provide the guidance you ask for. |
| childhood. We were taught in one way or another | | | | However, if you don't ask, it will only work your |
| to fear powerful people - authority figures, | | | | existing program. |
| teachers, police, etc. because they had the power | | | | Therefore, to overcome the self-doubt and |
| to punish us. Unfortunately this anxiety endured | | | | feelings that stymie your self worth, you must |
| into adulthood and unless one makes a conscious | | | | re-direct your inner parent. The spirit within you |
| effort to change the conditioning, s/he will always | | | | will give the ideas, energy and direction to change |
| be intimidated with the thought of approaching | | | | your program, but you have to ask and you have |
| senior executives, government officials or others | | | | to listen. You don't deserve to carry the negative |
| that could have the power to say no to what | | | | messages from childhood that hold you back. On |
| you want. But unless you get to these top | | | | the positive side, realize and appreciate and |
| people, you are leaving your selling in the hands of | | | | reinforce the good programming that got you |
| someone else - very risky. | | | | where you are. However, if you want more or |
| To free ourselves or recondition ourselves from | | | | feel discontent, you have to rally your spirit for |
| intimidation we must catch it, then check it, and if | | | | the inspiration and motivation to make the |
| appropriate change it as a well known psychologist | | | | changes you want to happen. If you do, you will |
| teaches. Catch the fear or feel of intimidation. | | | | quickly get the feedback on how to understand |
| Check whether it's appropriate. If he's got a gun, | | | | the sources of discontent, i.e. intimidation and/or |
| it's appropriate. If he's a high level executive, it's | | | | self-doubt, and the guidance to change them. |
| not. Finally, if it's not appropriate, you need to | | | | Do this and you'll always feel you belong with |
| change how you react. Unfortunately, changing | | | | senior executives, powerful people,, or anyone |
| reactions programmed into you for decades is | | | | you'd like to be with. You'll feel confident you can |
| not easy. So let me give you some insights of | | | | hold your own with everyone. |
| how you developed them, and how you | | | | Common Situation |
| unconsciously carry them, and some tips on how | | | | Reluctant to Network Up to Key Decision Makers |
| to recondition your responses. | | | | You're asked to meet with others in your clients' |
| There are three elements within that control us - | | | | or prospects' organizations. You really don't want |
| our child, our parent and our spirit. I call this our | | | | to. You feel it doesn't matter - the bosses are |
| trinity. (No, this is not "I'm OK, You're OK" stuff | | | | not involved with the decision. You feel it's not |
| for the baby boomers.) Our inner child controls | | | | your job, or you feel intimidated, or you feel they |
| feelings - fear or intimidation in this case. There is | | | | only want to interface with your bosses. You |
| no judgment or thinking. It's pure reaction just like | | | | rationalize to your boss and others why you can't |
| any child. Our inner parent controls our thoughts | | | | get higher. Bottom line, you're just not |
| and actions. It's our director. It tells us what we | | | | comfortable and you just don't want to do it. |
| should do, how we should react, how we 'should' | | | | Resulting Problem |
| feel. It can be abusive or nurturing. For example, | | | | You Lose Control or the Sale |
| our child is saying, "I want to play and be happy," | | | | Self-doubt will block you from getting to the right |
| yet our inner parent is saying, "You should be | | | | people, which will impede getting the critical |
| working." If you're a workaholic, your inner parent | | | | decision criteria about the sale and winning over |
| is abusive. If you have a good balance it's | | | | the ultimate decision maker. You stay stuck with |
| nurturing. You're child will let you know if there is | | | | your main contact. You're reticent to ask the |
| balance. Anger, depression, sadness means the | | | | questions that need to be asked and see the |
| inner child is acting-out because the inner parent is | | | | people that need to be seen. |
| being harsh and not loving. How your parent | | | | Check Yourself |
| directs you has been programmed into your being | | | | Score: 4=Always; 3=Most Times; 2=Usually; |
| from your real parents and other influencing | | | | 1=Sometimes; 0=Never. |
| people that raised you - teachers, coaches, etc. | | | | 1. You take care of yourself, eat healthy, |
| This program controls you forever, or until you, | | | | exercise, recreate with family? ____ |
| as an adult, take actions to modify it. | | | | 2. You work hard, but still have time for yourself? |
| Your spirit is the enabler. It coordinates your | | | | ____ |
| thoughts, muscles and other bodily functions to | | | | 3. You feel you've gone as far as you can, or you |
| accomplish the task directed by your inner parent. | | | | put yourself down? ____ |
| Using our intimidation example, the need to get-to | | | | 4. You hear negative voices spouting limitations |
| and set-up a meeting with a CEO is presented. | | | | and fears about your capabilities, status or future. |
| The inner child reacts with anxiety - fear. The | | | | ____ |
| inner parent is saying, "This can't be good, stay | | | | Scoring: 1 + 2 - 3 - 4 =? |
| away, you're not worthy, there is harm in this." | | | | Positive is good; Negative means you're limiting |
| The spirit is causing an adrenalin surge. Your arm | | | | your happiness and success. |
| pits start sweating. You start coming up with | | | | And now I invite you to learn more. |