| This article is about how you can learn to be | | | | sessionearlier. |
| more assertive and to BE your BEST SELF ! | | | | The coughing sound would break his present state |
| Recently, I helped a client of mine to do | | | | of mind and remind him of his rights and to |
| something that was tremendouslyliberating for him | | | | remain calm and imagine the final outcome going |
| and helped him to really make huge strides in their | | | | well. We had set this positive anchor to the sound |
| success. | | | | of my coughing. |
| I encouraged and assisted them in an exercise | | | | Then he repeated his request and explained again |
| that I designed for several clients over the years. | | | | very clearly that this particular DVDdid not play in |
| Originally this sprang from my own experience | | | | his computer or DVD player and that this was |
| and I remember how incredible it felt tobe able to | | | | already the second time they hadgiven him a |
| be more assertive. | | | | defective DVD. |
| You will discover an incredibly effective way to | | | | He simply wanted to exchange the defective |
| transform yourself into a more assertive | | | | DVD for something from a more reputable |
| personwithout needing to become a jerk. | | | | companythat he felt would play in his machine and |
| Let me walk you through this process the way I | | | | he was willing to pay for a more expensive DVD |
| did for my very happy client so that when Ishare | | | | or take alesser priced one as long as it would play. |
| the step by step process with you it will be easier | | | | Now one of the clerks acted a bit nicer, while the |
| for you to apply. | | | | other clerk got even more nasty and rude. |
| It is best to consider this a therapeutic game that | | | | Bad clerk, good clerk. |
| will help you to take things seriously without | | | | My client was able to hold on to the idea that he |
| taking them too personally. | | | | was the customer and he was within his rightsand |
| Imagine yourself walking, talking and doing what | | | | whatever misunderstandings would be resolved in |
| you need to in order to resolvethings in an | | | | his favor as long as heremained persistent. |
| assertive way without resorting to yelling or | | | | After a few more attempts at getting him to |
| screaming. | | | | just take another defective DVD or to just leave |
| We did some Hypnosis to help him ease into doing | | | | theirstore he finally got them to exchange the |
| what he needed to so you can get | | | | DVD for one that worked. |
| yourselfrelaxed and mentally rehearse how you | | | | Do you want to know how? Great. |
| will do this. | | | | STEPS: |
| The idea is to remain calm and focused on the | | | | 1. Mentally rehears the final outcome that you |
| goal at hand, which is toget what is rightfully | | | | want. In this case getting a movie that plays on |
| yours. | | | | your DVD player. Of course you can use this |
| Long story short, he had purchased a DVD a | | | | exercise for any goal you have and I will write |
| week earlier and broughtit home and it did not | | | | more articles about this in the future. |
| play correctly on his computer or his DVD player | | | | 2. Remain calm and clearly state the situation and |
| either. | | | | what you want that will resolve it. |
| So after finishing work that day he visited the | | | | 3. * Use any and all leverage to achieve your goal, |
| store with his receipt toget his money back or to | | | | while remaining civil and calm and dignified. |
| exchange the defective product for one that | | | | 4. Hold onto the feeling of your rights as a |
| worked. | | | | customer, person or employee andpersist in |
| He told me that the clerks at the store looked at | | | | asserting your rights. As I stated earlier you can |
| him suspiciously and were somewhat rudeyet | | | | use this training process for any goals that you |
| they agreed to exchange the defective DVD for | | | | have. There is a situation and a way to resolve it |
| another DVD of the same title. | | | | fairly and favorably. |
| They assured him that this copy would play and | | | | 5. Hold onto the image of the final outcome and |
| that they never had any problems or complaints. | | | | feel that it has already happened andthis ritual is |
| The thought that this was anything other than a | | | | simply a formality before you get what you want. |
| defective DVD never crossed his mind until they | | | | 6. Treat this as a game. Instead of taking things |
| madethese comments the way they did. | | | | personally, treat it as a serious game with points |
| He played this new DVD and once again it would | | | | forremaining calm, persistant and dignified. |
| not play in his computer or DVD player andnow | | | | * For getting leverage as in step 3. you will need |
| he was angry as well as dissappointed because he | | | | to consider what they fear most. |
| was taking it personally instead of seriously. | | | | Mentioning Legal action from Police or Lawyers or |
| He called me the following day and told me how | | | | other such comments simply madethese clerks |
| angry he was that they had ripped him off and | | | | more angry and accusing. |
| then lied to his face so I calmed him down first | | | | However, the clerks noticed that while he was |
| and then I shared with him what | | | | there talking with them that no one was buying |
| I will be sharing with you in a moment. | | | | anythingat all. The other customers were either |
| So anyway, the other day he walked into this | | | | curiously listening and watching or they left |
| store where he had purchased thedefective DVD | | | | because they did not like the way this store did |
| and I walked in a minute later and stood to the | | | | Business. |
| side to lend moral support. | | | | So I text messaged my client with some tips for |
| He walked calmly up to the counter the way he | | | | him that I had noticed from a more objective |
| had done in his mental rehearsals andhe spoke | | | | point of view. |
| loudly and clearly and explained the situation. | | | | He then told the store clerks that he had a very |
| First they tried to ignore him so he repeated | | | | flexible schedule and that he lived nearby and |
| himself. | | | | could wait as long as it tookfor them to resolve |
| To my surprise they actually attacked him | | | | things fairly they immediately agreed and he got |
| verbally and accused him of just wantingto see | | | | another DVD. This DVD did play perfectly. |
| another DVD for free. They insisted once again | | | | After he got his fair exchange he calmly thanked |
| of exchanging his DVD for one of the same title. | | | | them for resolving the misunderstanding. |
| His voice started to break the way it can when | | | | Oh, and this game had points attached and my |
| you are feeling stressed and nervous or angry. | | | | client scored very well because he did remaincalm, |
| I coughed and he regained his composure. This | | | | persistent and dignified and even thanked them |
| was a signal we had worked on during our | | | | for resolving things fairly. |